Baby #4 {14 weeks pregnant}

Another year, another baby! We are excited to announce I'm 14 weeks pregnant, due July 1st, 2014.

We kept the news under wraps during the first trimester because of my history with miscarriages. This is my 5th pregnancy and my 3rd time making it past 13 weeks. My first pregnancy miscarried shortly after 12 weeks. My fourth pregnancy showed issues on the first ultrasound, at 7 weeks, but wasn't declared a miscarriage until 10 weeks. I had a D&C for both my first and fourth pregnancies during my 12th week.

I've definitely felt nervous throughout the first trimester with this pregnancy. We have wanted another baby so badly and that last miscarriage was very hard for me to handle (read "Holiday worries"). We've also kept this pregnancy secret from our children until this past weekend. With my fourth pregnancy, we told our oldest from the beginning and even brought him with us to our first ultrasound. He was heartbroken when we told him that the baby went to heaven (read "Miscarriage"). When we told him the news about this pregnancy, he was so excited and then his face drew in, "Will this baby actually come, Momma?" I assured him that this baby looked healthy, but that God always has a plan and that we will be able to hold our other babies in heaven. I really want to tell him 100% "Yes, this baby WILL come. You WILL hold this baby." I really want those words to be true. How can I guarantee that though? We don't know. God does have a plan for us and we need to trust him, in all things. I hope that whatever happens, I can show my children God's love for us and show them what it means to live your faith and trust God's plan.

So last night while we watched a Disney movie, our oldest sat next to me with his hand on my tummy, watching the movie with his "baby sister." (No, we still do not know the gender, not for several more weeks, but he really wants a sister!) He said prayers last night with his sister, pressing his little face against my tummy so she could hear him. This morning he gave me a hug and then gave my tummy a hug, wishing his sister a good morning. He even told me that we needed to be quiet because she was still sleeping... :) It is so sweet. Our toddlers are two and a half and very unaware what a baby in Momma's tummy means. One of our toddlers uses his toy stethoscope to listen to the baby. The other gives my tummy kisses and says, "Baby tummy..." I did think it was adorable that one of our toddlers asked if I had two babies in my tummy. It almost made me wonder if he somewhat grasped the concept of twins. I assured him that no, I only have one baby in there.

Since my last pregnancy ended in a partial molar pregnancy, our OB/Gyn has been closely monitoring my first trimester. Already I have had 3 ultrasounds. It was so wonderful hearing the heartbeat on that first ultrasound at 7 weeks. It was even better hearing the heartbeat and seeing the baby wiggle at 9 weeks. Best of all was the 12 week ultrasound showing a healthy baby doing acrobats in there. I told my OB that I swore I felt flutters already and he said that is common in consecutive pregnancies, especially with how active our little one has been. (I swear, all our babies spend the entire time in utero kicking and moving!) My next appointment is at 17 weeks. My OB said we might be able to determine gender then-- thinking pink thoughts!!! :)

It is so nice to finally share the news of this pregnancy. It has been increasingly harder dressing my baby bump. I had to start wearing maternity clothes at 12 weeks. My mom said that by her third pregnancy, her stomach popped out as soon as she saw two pink lines! I've definitely been feeling that way. This has also been the hardest first trimester I've experienced, maybe because I'm chasing around two two year olds and a five year old. I've felt nauseous and tired in previous pregnancies, but I spent most evenings sick during this past first trimester and exceedingly nauseous all day. I've been crossing off the days until the second trimester! When I was pregnant with twins, I just felt tired during the first trimester; I could sleep like a cat. I was sick and nauseous the entire second and third trimesters though. My sister feels that if this time I have a rough first trimester the second trimester is bound to be better and nothing could possibly be as rough as the third trimester pregnant with twins! I have to agree with her on that. The past week or so has been much better, though I've been falling asleep on the couch around 6 pm. I do feel that I've had more energy though, which is a nice change.

I'm just so thankful for this baby and wrap so many prayers around it.