Kimber's Navy Family

I have been failing a lot at parenting lately. Not just the little things, like yelling when all the kids start talking to me at the same time and dinner is burning and homework isn't done. But on big things, like what do I do when my children are struggling? What do I do when I don't know the answers? The other night one of our boys was in trouble for something and I had him get ready for bed while his siblings cleaned up their art supplies and tidied their room. I went in my room and cried. I have no idea what I am doing. I think a lot of times that's why we as parents struggle so much with all this mommy judgement. People tell us how horrible our children have been lately and we know. We are there, day in and day out and we see the bad behaviors and we are trying. We don't want our kids to do that. We don't want our kids to be "that kid." We don't want to constantly have a wrinkle of worry between our eyebrows and a creeping tension headache, wait...

I've refrained from writing a post about what it is like being a mom to boys, but I suppose with our fourth boy on the way, it is long overdue. I love being the mother to my children and I love my children with all my heart. Right now, I view them as my children. Yes, I call them "boys" when I am addressing them or talking about them, "Boys, we need to take turns," "Boys, you did a great job following instructions at the doctor's office," "Boys, it is time to go!" "I was out today with our boys..." But I do not-- ever-- use it to corner them into a gender role. "Son, you need to toughen up," "Son, you need to stop crying like a girl," or, my absolute least favorite expression ever, "Boys will be boys." Why does it bother me so much hearing "boys will be boys?" Because, in my experience, people do not use that expression in regards to positive behavior demonstrated by my children. When o...

As a mother to three children with another on the way, I know the importance of planning. As a mother of twins, I know the importance of planning. And now, as a mother to children growing more and more independent each day, I'm learning the importance of going with the flow, trying things out, and seeing where life takes us-- essentially, throwing out the plan and flying by the seat of our pants. We have already potty trained one child. I wrote three blog posts about the experience: Try to see it my way Why not? Follow-up on potty training With him, he really didn't want to potty train. He liked diapers and was fine with how things were going. As his parents, we were the ones ready to be done with diapers. If you read the blog posts on potty training D, you know that he was ready to potty train and capable to do so. The thing that I liked about potty training him was that he was ready and so when we finally did it, we were able to do days, nights, naptime, out and about...

Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.c om What a morning we have had! The boys woke up a little before 6:30 in foul little moods. I heard one of them screaming like a banshee and the other two arguing. Dragging myself out of bed I was settling he-touched-my-toy and he-hit-me disputes before even brewing my first cup of coffee-- definitely not my favorite way to wake up. From there it just went downhill. I put all the boys back to bed and hoped they would wake up with sunnier dispositions (and mine too). Sadly, breakfast without whining just wasn't in the cards for us this morning. So how do you do it? How do you discipline three kids, including two-year old twins? I think this becomes a big question for parents around this age. I know I see it a lot on parenting boards and on twin groups. It is overwhelming to figure out the logistics of time outs when one two-year old is causing mayhem here and the other there and you aren't sure who started ...

Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.c om If you have read my blog post " 0-2 year old twin must-haves ," you know how I feel about having a housekeeper. However, things have changed for us. We moved from North Carolina to South Carolina (read " PCS to South Carolina ") and our financial situation has changed (student loans!). We moved away from our housekeeper in North Carolina and do not have plan to get one-- yet-- here in South Carolina. My husband and I have had many discussions regarding a housekeeper. While our opinion on having a housekeeper is remarkably similar, I still want to knee him in the... well, you know, whenever he says, "We really don't need a housekeeper. We really can do it just fine " (my emphasis). Who does the housework around here, if not the housekeeper? That's right! Me! ;) Our agreement is basically that we want to let our finances settle from the move, have a chance to adjust our f...

  Discipline... Perhaps with our oldest we focused too much on discipline. Sometimes, I really feel that way. That we expected too much, that we wanted him to behave more than was age appropriate, that we were too strict. I think that dads have a tendency to do that, but I really think I put a lot of expectations on him as well. The past couple weeks, I remembered a few specific times where I wish I had cut him a break. And then there are other times where I see his behavior now and I think, "Man, all that hard work has paid off." He is respectful; he is working on his table manners. He follows instructions (for the most part). And he knows that we are serious when we tell him yes or no. I feel that with the toddlers, we let a lot of things go. The other night O was throwing a tennis ball in our living room. I cannot stand things being thrown in the house. It absolutely drives me crazy. I especially do not want things thrown near our television or lamps or other various ...

Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of teaching through hands-on experience. I believe that the best way for kids to learn how to behave in public is by taking them out in public. Kids learn best by getting down and dirty-- using a fork (very messy), going down stairs (very slow), getting dressed (so hard not to just pull their arm through the ever-elusive arm hole), or "helping" you (C now needs a towel to help me wipe down the high chairs after meals). And I've had many people comment on the amount of bookcases in every room of my house that my kids-- seemingly-- leave alone: baby-proofing through repetition ("do not touch the books... do not touch the books... do not touch the books..."). As every well-meaning, opinionated stranger will tell you, your kids have to learn. I remember this lady at Target eavesdropping on a conversation I was having with D, telling him that we can't buy some hundred-million-small-parts-toy because his brothers could ch...