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3 weeks, 3 months

I had a follow-up appointment for my partial molar pregnancy today. While a molar pregnancy is far from good news, thankfully my molar pregnancy is "behaving." As I explained in my blog post "Molar pregnancy," the treatment for a molar pregnancy is monitoring your hCG levels after the D&C to make sure they keep going down and then remain negative, typically over a span of 6 months.

I did some researching and asking around regarding the wait time to start trying again after having a molar pregnancy. A friend of our family who is a doctor said that waiting for 6 months is a very conservative approach and may not be necessary. He said that he would recommend 3 weeks of negative test results followed by 3 months of negative test results. I asked in my molar pregnancy support group and was given a study called "Low Risk of Relapse After Achieving Undetectable hCG Levels in Women With Partial Molar Pregnancy." It has a long list of authors: from the Donald P. Goldstein, MD, Trophoblastic Tumor Registry, New England Trophoblastic Disease Center; Division of Gynecologic Oncology, Division of Clinical and Epidemiologic Research, and Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Biology, Brigham and Women's Hospital; Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Massachusetts General Hospital; Gillette Center for Women's Cancer, Dana Farber Cancer Institute; and Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts. I found a link to it here by Googling the study's name.

One of the gals in the group actually emailed Donald P. Goldsteing, MD, at the New England Trophoblastic Disease Center and received a very informative email from his office that stated in bold, "Recent research has shown that pregnancy may be safely undertaken after three months of normal (<5) HCG tests." (I'm not sure if I can share the email on my blog.)

I printed off the study and the email and brought them in to my OBGyn for today's appointment. My first blood test yielded very low hCG levels. I also had an ultrasound earlier this week that showed the cyst I did have left over is regressing on its own-- all good news. My doctor reiterated how pleased he was with the results from the first blood test and how great the ultrasound looked. I took this as a perfect lead in to discuss a shorter wait time. I told him that I had done some research since the last time I was at his office and showed him my findings. I even tried to make a case, pointing out that my results have been looking so good that my husband and I feel this is the direction we are leaning. My OBGyn, a very nice man, had to laugh. He said he was aware of the study and that he feels that waiting for 6 months is the safest route that he recommends. However, he conceded that he feels there is hardly a chance of me relapsing in months 4-6, considering my case, and that he would support my decision. We came up with a new plan of action: 3 negative weekly tests followed by 3 monthly tests as long as we keep getting good results. We agreed together, my doctor and I, that if the tests start yielding unexpected results we will form a new plan; otherwise, I will make an appointment at the end of 3 months before we start trying for baby #4.

Oh, it was such a good appointment after so many bad ones. I loved when he wrote my scripts for lab work, weekly ones for April, and monthly ones for May, June, and July-- an end date! I don't know what I was expecting discussing this plan of action with my doctor. I really like him-- why we chose him through this process-- and I didn't want to argue with him about a shorter time or go against what he recommends. I just didn't feel that waiting for a full 6 months was absolutely necessary, especially not in my case. He was so respectful and understanding. I loved that we came up with a new plan together and how knowledgeable he is of molar pregnancies (he stated who did the study before I even showed it to him or gave the name of the study). It feels great to be working with my doctor and I feel like we are in good hands.

So today I'm feeling optimistic. I am not happy that we had a molar pregnancy or that we couldn't just wait one cycle before trying again. I am definitely not happy we had a miscarriage. I'm not happy that the first trimester of our next pregnancy will be even more stressful. No, none of that makes me happy. But I am joyful. God has a plan for us. I don't know what the plan is and I don't know what this taught me or if it was supposed to teach me anything. I just trust where God is leading me and today I was very happy to receive the news we did.

I'm not sure how sappy or sentimental this is, but I've had the song "Yellow" by Coldplay stuck in my head the last couple weeks. I think about this little baby that had such a hard time and didn't have a chance. Baby Flowers, your mommy loved you and your daddy loved you. Your big brother named you and prayed for you every day. It was so sweet and often brought tears to my eyes because he wanted to meet you so. I don't know if you were a boy or a girl; I don't really care. I loved you so. So this is your song, sweet baby. It has been a heartache and it has torn me apart many nights longing for you, but it was so, so worth it.

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow
I came along
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do
And it was called "Yellow"
So then I took my turn
Oh, what a thing to have done
And it was all "Yellow"
Your skin
Oh, yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh, what a thing to do
'Cos you were all "Yellow"
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh, what a thing to do
And it was all "Yellow"
Your skin
Oh, yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry
It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

Comments

Anonymous said…
I have so enjoyed your blog, especially about the molar pregnancy. I found out two days after my birthday that the baby we were expecting was gone. And later that it was a partial molar pregnancy. It is encouraging to read your posts and read of the same feelings. You have been a blessing.
Kimber said…
Thank you so much! All the best to you as well!
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said…
Hi, it is heartwarming to hear of an understanding doctor. I am at thr beginning of my PMP journey, and have had so many different wait times from doctors. I have found a specialist who over the phone sounds lovely - I cannot wait to see him and hope he is as wonderful as yours!
Thank you for sharing your story - it resonates so much with me. Such heartbreak with the news of a miscarriage, then the added dread of a PMP.
Kimber said…
Best of luck to you as you begin your journey! I have been cleared to try again and wrote a blog post about that: http://kimbersnavyfamily.blogspot.com/2013/08/3-months-down.html. This week I'm going to be passing my due date and I'm feeling a little sad about the whole thing. It has been a lot to take in and my feelings very week to week about the whole diagnosis!

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